i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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