Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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