she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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