how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
