And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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