She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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