your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize