Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
