covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Sex in the backyard? Check.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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