Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
