i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
