you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
