When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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