Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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