Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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