We got so high we made milksteak
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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