me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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