i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
this will be a night to untag.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
