Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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