Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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