Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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