I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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