She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
