Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
