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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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