He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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