Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
