direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
