She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
