Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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