i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
