even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
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It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize