You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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