if only i could text you this smell
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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