The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
