Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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