the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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