JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
