We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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