sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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