and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just want nice things and good sex
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
