oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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