The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
