drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
