Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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