I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize