and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
