Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize