seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
