Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
