I want to stick my p in your. b.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
