i was born a porn star she said
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
