the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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