Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
