I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
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If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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