I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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