there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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