why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
