Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
