and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
