physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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