sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
