For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
